..oh puh-lease..

zue, please la. u only have two days yet u havent start studying when u have tonnes of things to study and remember. please be kind to yourself as u know u can do better. dont make u regret this. haish! puh-lease la.

p/s: i love FIVE. five sounds good to me. hehe.

..fix me please..

i need to be fixed. i have to fix me fisrt before i can do anything. even a simple thing. i think i loss the enthusiasm and optimism to be who i am now, to be here now. zue, tolong la bersyukur. haih!

so anyone care to fix me?

..the feeling..

..kenape perlu rase macam itu? rase macam cemburu dengan kehidupan orang laen. again, this feeling is unreasonable. haih. saye sepatutnye gembira atas kegembiraan orang lain kan? Ya Allah ampunkan hambaMu ini kerana mempunyai penyakit hati ini.

..somehow

..i just feel left out. which is unreasonable. i have such good and nice friends with me here in adelaide who always there for me, a lovely family who never fail to pray for me and always love me despite of distances, a sunshine who never fail to keep my day shining eventough there are miles between us. I am blessed for having these much loves and yet the feeling is just too complicated and unstable, sensitive is my new friend. shooh..shooh i dun need u.

Tidak bersyukurkah aku ya Allah?

Ya Allah kurniakan ketenangan dalam hati ini. hanya Kau yang mampu.

Ahlan Wa Sahlan ya Ramadhan.

Kepada semua kenalan,

Saya mohon maaf atas setiap kesalahan saya pada kalian. Mohon di maafkan.

..again..

mood itu datang lagi.
mood when im questioning myself again n again why i am taking pharmacy.
urgh!
stress la gini.

i need someone to talk with.

that particular someone,

who i can talk everything about.

but, again distances are just cruel

that he keeps my particular someone away from me.

i need my dose.

im persuading myself to understand the situation,

but my heart keep refusing to understand

and it hurts me.

it feels like my hope has been crushed into pieces.

in need of my drug. my own brand type of heroin.

..urgh!

june is here, means exam is coming.
and thats mean i need to start revising or studying those thick notes on my desk.
and im kinda not enjoying it.

and seriously i need someone to remind me again why im studying pharmacy
because apparently im not enjoying AP.
is AP design to fail me?
anyone?

..jealous..

kadang-kadang saya cemburu dengan kehidupan orang laen
pastu rase tak bersyukur plak.
tapi betul cemburu.
mungkin bukan kehidupan la.
tapi ade sesuatu yang saye cemburu.
saye cemburu dengan kasih-sayang itu
dan bagaimana mereka meluahkan kasih-sayang itu.
di mana-mana sahaja mereka luahkan.
saya cemburu.

betul.

tak tipu.

tak bersyukurkah saya?

forgive me Allah for having this feeling.

..sedih..

calculator hilang di saat peperiksaan hampir tiba

enough to make me sad :(

..can i skip the title..

i dun like this feeling i have right now
at one time i feel so secured about everything
and at other time i feel insecured about every single thing

no,
i dun like it

..escapism..

im bored last night
lonely and feeling left out
i feel like i wanna run away as far as i could from my life
but until where should i run?
_______________________________________

i cant study last night
everything i read seem fuzzy
not even a single fact stuck in my head
i guess im bored with this week routine
study makan study makan study tido study
i know, boring
luckily i have this one friend who remind me
quality is far more important than quantity
i forget about that
i totally forget
thanks friend for reminding me
and accompany me last night :D

and now i wanna find something to escape awhile from my notes and books
driving around and do some shopping maybe?hehe
already found a friend to shop with me :D
yeay!

hopefully after the escape
the mind is refreshed
and the enthusiasm is there again

..simptom..

urgh!
saya tidak dapat merasionalkan diri sendiri
hati ini memberontak ingin keluar dari nota-nota yang bersepahan
pergi ke pusat beli belah
melihat barang-barang yang nampak indah di pandangan mata
banyak yang ingin dibeli
seperti ia tidak sabar-sabar minta dibeli
selagi tidak ada di depan mata
hati ini seakan tidak puas
menjerit-jerit minta dipuaskan

urgh!
tolong saya
katakan pada hati ini supaya lebih rasional

mungkin saya patut ikut kata hati
tapi ada yang mengatakan
ikut hati mati
ikut rasa binasa
lantas,
apa yang patut diikut?

urgh!
seperti mahu menjerit pada diri sendiri
tapi terasa seperti bodoh

ouh,
mungkin simptom-simptom sudah keluar
bila jajan-jajan semakin bertambah
bila coklat rasa lebih lazat berbanding biasa
bila nota-nota semakin bersepahan di atas meja
bila internet lebih indah untuk mengisi masa
bila permainan komputer terasa menghiburkan
bila pusat beli belah semakin memanggil-manggil
bila tidur semakin tidak menentu
bila masa seperti bergerak pantas
dan saya seperti tercungap-cungap mengejar masa

urgh!