..for now..

i dont like the feeling i have right now
its so sensitive
watching a not-so-sad scene easily pour my tears out
listening to a sad song easily makes me cry
even when my mom or my family raise up their voice a bit,
i will feel sad and cry
i know they have no intention to yell at me
but i couldnt stop the tears from pouring out
i juz dont understand why

the negative thought keep bugging me
i know its not a good thought but still i think about it
i know its irrational sometimes
but the thing is,
i juz couldnt stop thinking the negative thing
i juz dont understand why

i dont like this post
it sound emo
but i need to let this out

..after a long time..

its not that i dont have the time to update the blog
it just i am busy spending time with my love ones
and internet is just not as fancy as before..by before i mean
when i am not at home with my sayangs :D

ouh summer
i love my summer
spending time with my love ones never been boring
eventough sometimes my brothers and my nephew annoy me
and i cannot stand when my mother nagging
but that is what makes my summer interesting..haha
and of course being near to him makes me a lot happier :D

and i am doing my practical at hospital kuala lumpur now
its an interesting work experience
i really enjoy the work
spending time with enthusiastic pharmacist and playing around with drugs
makes me become more excited to become a pharmacist one day
insyaAllah

thats it for now
till then

i feel grateful for i've been given another chance to spend time with my love ones
alhamdulillah
thank you Allah for this chance and for the love ones i have
:D

..so i am home..

finally

i am home
a big YEAY!
for i wait this very moment a long time ago
however,
the feeling is not as 'yeay' as i imagine
something is still missing
that 'someone' that i really wanna meet when im here
is not really here
i havent heard from him since im landing here,
in malaysia

you know who you are
please contact me
please do so
i will wait

but the family
im happy with them
i gonna cherish every moment with them as long as i am here

and i bet,
my summer will be great
and it will be more great if i could spend the whole summer with him

..fear..

im scared,
the feeling might fade away

im scared,
i might not feel it anymore

im scared,
i might lost the feeling

the feeling that i cherish all this while

..nothing..

during the exam week, i was hoping the exam finish faster
now that the exam had finished
i dun really feel the excitation after finishing exam
i wonder what happen to the feeling

i want to treasure the feeling
the feeling that i thought would be great
but now, i guess i will never really feel it, right?

..sometimes I forget..

"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you;

and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you.

And Allah Knows, while you know not"(2:216)

..kecewa..

semalam saya dah bercinta puas-puas dengan makhluk halus
berjam-jam saya luangkan masa dengan dia
untuk cari kata putus
tentang hubungan saya dengan dia
sampai penat jari jemari saya terangkan pada dia
betapa dalamnya cinta saya padanya
tapi saya sedikit kecewa
tak seperti yang saya harapkan
tapi tidak mengapa lah
saya dah berusaha sedaya upaya
sekarang saya akan tunggu balasan cinta dari dia
semoga cinta saya akan dibalas