Every little steps

2012-01-01T21:50:00.001+10:30

Semoga 2012 bakal menjadi tahun yang lebih baik.

Semoga impian 2012 akan tercapai.

Tapi hati walau apa pun tulisan-Nya untuk kau nanti,

Percayalah itu adalah yang terbaek untuk kau

Kerana seaungguhnya cuma Dia perancang yang terbaek

Dan mengetahui ape yang lebih kau perlukan.

Wahai hati tabah dan bersabar lah

Sesungguhnya setiap ketabahan dan kesabaran itu akan dibalas walau sebesar zarah sekali pun.

Tabah dan sabar.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

2011-12-05T19:42:00.001+10:30

kempunan nak makan chicken chop kampung pandan. period.

2 minggu kempunan.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.1

2011-11-11T12:43:00.002+10:30

saya berharap dengan sangat

semoga semua yang kita rancang akan terlaksana

saya sentiasa berdoa yang terbaik untuk kita

sebab hakikatnya saya dah kekurangan idea dan alasan

untuk menjawab setiap persoalan

orang lain mungkin tak faham rancangan kita

dan saya tak boleh menceritakan setiap perancangan kita pada mereka-mereka

kerana ada hati yang perlu dijaga

ada air muka yang perlu dipertahankan

ouh hati

tabah lah

sebab kau dah lalui banyak perkara

dan aku tahu kau mampu lalui untuk yang ini juga

ouh Tuhan

berikan ketabahan

dan pinjamkan

aku sedikit kekuatan untuk aku hadapi semua ini

sesungguhnya dugaan Mu terlalu hebat

begitu juga nikmat Mu

dan aku akan terus bersabar untuk itu.

2011-10-04T22:45:00.002+10:30

reaching the limit and no one really care.

thats it.

i think i just need to find a reason.

cause no matter what happen to me now,

im on my own.

2011-08-28T13:44:00.003+09:30

miserable life has end. at least for now.

for now,

i am concentrating on celebrating eid with my most beloved family.

so all the work stuff needs to wait until i finish my holiday.

i have been blessed as i have been surrounded with these beautiful and kind people.

my family for never walk away from me. who always there through my ups and downs. who accept me for what ever weaknesses i have. who always forgive me for every mistakes i made. who never stop to guide me for same mistakes i done over and over again.
my sunshine; Mohd Taufiq Aqmal, for always knows me better than myself. for always there for me. for listening to every stories i have in my daily life. for everything.
my friends who feel likes family. even though we are apart now with our own life but the memories and bonding that we have will never be forgotten. i miss u guys where ever you are. i hope that we can hang out together like before. having fun. especially u, RK.
my school friends. we never apart really. its been years but when we are together, i feel like im still young like before. u guys never fail to makes me laugh over and over again over the same stories we have.
my new friends i met. we feel close though we just met. i feel blessed having u guys. u guys made my work life so fun despite all of the workloads and burden we have.

thanks to all of u for being a part of my life. Alhamdulillah, i have been blessed again and again. Thank you Allah for all of these people.

I LOVE ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL AND KIND PEOPLE.

I am sorry if i make any mistakes, if my words hurting u, if my act annoying u. but trust me i never have any intention to do so. I am sorry.

2011-08-17T11:45:00.004+09:30

feel like i do not want to wake up.

either we can fast forward the time until the next monday

or wake me up the next monday

can i?

life is miserable right now. ergh.

on the other hand,

life would be much better

when i am with my other part

feels like ignoring the other burden

like the world is ours and nothing else matter

cliche~

2011-08-16T03:25:00.001+09:30

anyway, the countdown hurts me by day.

2011-08-16T03:08:00.002+09:30

i think i do not have life.

most of the time hospital being my second house

this is not what i imagine my life would be

so lame. i know. tell me about it.

but i believe this is only temporary.

it just a matter of time until i figure out how to balance between my life and leisure time.

one day.

it will come.

so just pray hard and give the best.

InsyaAllah everything will be fine as i strongly believe

He didnt plan this for nothing.

As always, He always knows what is the best for me.

2011-07-24T14:15:00.003+09:30

I think I am losing it all.

I miss you like so much.

You are one of the most precious thing that happen in my life.

I am lucky and grateful that our path crossed even for a while.

But it does not mean I will forget about you because I promise you that you will always stay close to my heart.

The memories that we had together are the beautiful memories that I wont forget.

One of the best I would say.

I wish you good luck in whatever you do and may He grant every wish that you wishing for.

will always love you.

2011-07-24T14:04:00.003+09:30

After so long...

Work has taken almost all of my time until i dont really have any time for anything else even myself. Someone said, that is life. Well, life is good. Never better i would say. Almost everything happen like what i plan except for one thing. Well maybe that one need to wait. There must be some reasons why Allah still do not grant that wish because after all He knows what is best for me right. Its ok, i think i just need to wait and be more patient. Other than that, my life has been great. I have been blessed having a great family and surrounded by people that love and care so much about me. Mak has become my bestfriend ever that i could talk almost about everything to her even though sometime its quite awkward talking about boyfriend to her. My makcik have been a great gossiping partner. My brother have been a great fighting partner. My nieces and nephews never fail to put a smile in my face everytime i see them. Even a call from them makes me happy and smile all day long. Taufiq has been great as he ever did. He always knows me better.

What more could i ask for. Each time life become harder than the usual, they will always there for me and they will never walk away from me. And, that is enough to make me stand still and face the life again.

I have been blessed for having each and everyone of them in my life. Thank you Allah for all them. Could not be more grateful than this. Alhamdulillah.

Ahlan wasahlan ya Ramadhan. Semoga kedatanganmu kali ini menambahkan lagi secebis bekalan untuk di sana nanti.

..new members!..

2011-01-20T19:06:00.005+10:30

the twins is here!

Thank you Allah for the ni'mat.

the family members is getting big.

I am an auntie to three nieces and two nephews.

Thank you Allah for the happiness.

Puteri Qistina Aleeza & Puteri Qistina Aleesya

2011-01-18T17:57:00.003+10:30

Ya Allah,
semoga diberikan ketabahan kepada hati-hati kami
menghadapi ujian dan dan dugaanMu

sesungguhnya hanya Engkau yang tahu setiap perkara
yang terbaek untuk setiap makhlukMu.

semoga dipermudahkan semuanya ya Allah.

2011-01-06T00:20:00.002+10:30

im home!
and near to the love ones.
one word to describe the feeling. GRATEFUL.

alhamdulillah ya Allah atas segala nikmatMu yang tak putus-putus.

and now i am busy to start a new chapter in my life.
semoga dipermudahkan ya Allah.

2010-12-23T11:02:00.003+10:30

less than 12 hours.

terima kasih ya Allah

atas segala nikmatMu

semoga semuanya selamat

mummy, ill be home. soon!

tak sabar nak jumpe haikal, hafizi dan fatihah.

and of course, you.

:D :D :D :D

2010-12-20T22:43:00.002+10:30

alhamdulillah ya Allah.

ku panjatkan kesyukuran hanya kepada Mu.

Mak, this is for you.

for your struggle and support all these while.

U, this is for u.

for always being there with me through my ups and downs

for always bare with my unstable emotional state.

2010-12-18T14:53:00.004+10:30

HE is answering my prayer.

thank you Allah for all the ni'mat.

setahun. semoga tercapai yang setahun itu.

mungkin kena berusaha lebih

saya tak kisah asalkan untuk yang terbaik

semoga dikabulkan.

p/s: 5 more days! :D

2010-12-16T13:58:00.003+10:30

alhamdulillah ya Allah untuk segala nikmat yang Engkau berikan

jangan jadikan hambaMu ini manusia yang tidak bersyukur

dan tetapkanlah hati ini untuk tetap berada di jalanMu

im going to graduate this 20th dec

finally after 4 years

and will be going back to home sweet home this 23rd dec

Malaysia, here i come.

wee! i am going to be close to my loved ones!

p/s: 7 days to go :)

2010-12-07T09:36:00.005+10:30

semalam sampai termimpi-mimpi

sampai rasa mcam tanak bangun

sebab nak tahu keputusannya

tolong la bertawakal dengan erti kata sebenar

semua keputusan telah tertulis

di Lauh Mahfuz

dan kita kena meyakini bahawa semua keputusan

adalah yang terbaik dariNya

sebab Dia lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaek untuk kita

ya Allah,

tetapkan aku di jalanMu

semoga tak tergelincir dari jalanMu ini ya Allah

untuk menghidupkan Islam di dalam diri

semoga dengan itu tertegak Islam di bumi Mu ini

u,
im missing u
the room is empty without u
and of course i miss to argue with u
and having a crap conversation with u

2010-11-28T16:23:00.003+10:30

i miss you already

have a good holidays

we gonna meet again soon

if it is not here

maybe we gonna meet there

at our ultimate destination

hopefully

ya Allah, pelihara dia.

semoga kami bertemu lagi di sana nanti.

i have no one to fight with :(

2010-11-26T14:42:00.005+10:30

banyak sangat benda dalam fikiran

keputusan. sangat risau dan takut walaupun seorang kawan mengingatkan tawakal tu apabila kita berserah diri tanpa memikirkan lagi tentang hasilnya. tiap kali hati ini ingatkan pasal tawakal tapi masih juga gagal untuk menghilangkan kerisauan dan ketakutan itu. adakah saya masih belum bertawakal dengan erti kata sebenar?

shipping. selagi result tak keluar saya seperti stuck untuk melakukan apa yang telah dirancang. semua macam bergantung kepada keputusan itu. sebab itu saye asik tangguh semua plan yang telah dirancang. tahu. tak patut camtu. kene teruskan jugak perancangan itu sebab in the end Allah jugak yang tentukan kelancaran perancangan tu dan saya tak harus bersangka buruk kepada Allah. Dia adalah sebaik-baik pemberi keputusan.

expectation. besar sungguh harapan orang-orang yang tersayang kepada saya sampaikan kadang-kadang saya takut saya tak dapat berikan harapan mereka yang tersayang. saya takut mereka akan kecewa dengan saya. sesungguhnya saya takut. sekali lagi saya bergantung harap kepada Allah untuk yang terbaik untuk semua. benar-benar harap. kalau saya tak dapat capai expectation mereka. saya tak tahu macam mana nak berdepan dengan mereka. saya benar-benar harap mereka dapat terima saya walau macam mana pun nanti keputusannya.

kehidupan. perlu rancang kehidupan. semakin bertambah umur semakin banyak tanggungjawab yang perlu ditanggung. sama ada kita suka atau tidak. tanggungjawab kepada keluarga dan terutama kepada umat perlu di ambil kira dalam merancang kehidupan untuk menjadikan dunia ini lebih baik. perlu difikirkan semua yang terlibat untuk merancang keputusan dan menjalani kehidupan.

Ya Allah. kebergantungan ku hanya kepadaMu. tabahkan hati ini ya Allah. yakin kan aku untuk terus menerima semua perancangan Mu yang terbaik untuk ku.

for u,

i will be missing u like so much

semoga ukhuwah kita akan terus kekal hingga ke negeri abadi nanti

saya doakan yang terbaik untuk awak

you are one of the most precious thing in my life

and i am glad that our path cross in my journey of life.

2010-11-09T18:47:00.001+10:30

takut.

perasaan tu datang lagi.

i keep telling myself to keep calm,

focus and let Him decide the best for me.

2010-11-07T19:07:00.003+10:30

saya perlu menyusun semula kehidupan.

atau pun saya cuma perlu ikut sahaja ke mana hidup ni akan bawa

tapi kalau ikut arus dan terus hanyut macam mana?

satu-satu zue.

selesaikan satu persatu.

akan diberi kemudahan insyaAllah.

permudahkan ya Allah.

2010-11-05T20:59:00.002+10:30

last assignment submitted. hopefully will be last.

final exam is approaching and i am scare to admit the last

because i am afraid this might not be the last.

O Allah, help me ease the feeling

because only You really know and understand

what is really going on inside

permudahkan segalanya ya Allah.

tetapkan aku yakin bahawa bahawa ketentuanMu

adalah yang terbaek untuk ku

kerana Engkau sebaik-sebaik pemberi keputusan

missing everyone back at home

sikit je lagi

2010-10-29T23:00:00.007+10:30

Wahai Tuhan pencipta langit dan bumi

berikan ketenangan dalam hatinya

kurniakan ya Allah kekuatan dan ketabahan dalam hatinya

semoga dipermudahkan semua urusannya

Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai kesanggupannya (2:286)

grief. that is normal. but dont forget to bounce back because that is what making someone success.

p/s: i will always be here for you through your ups and downs.

2010-10-23T09:58:00.002+10:30

pelajar adalah amanah
sila muhasabah kembali perjalanan hidup dan jejak semula impian yang tersorok di celah minda.
pilih satu sebab dan mulakan sekarang. bukan esok atau lusa.
jangan cuba justifikasi sesuatu yang kita lakukan atau dapat semata-mata untuk menenangkan diri.
sikit lagi. 1/8 lagi untuk kau melangkah dan menggapai salah satu daripada impian hidup. buat jantung hati di sana, bersabar ye? semoga dia diberikan sedikit ketabahan lagi.
ingat. jantung hati kau sedang menanti kau dengan sebuah kejayaan. untuk melengkapkan hidupnya kembali. ye. jantung hati aku adalah semangat aku selama ni.
the power of dream. bukan sekadar kata-kata kosong. fahami dan kau akan dapat rasakan betapa berkuasanya kata-kata itu.
dan aku telah limitkan diri bahawa aku tak punya pilihan lain melainkan menghabiskan sedikit lagi sisa-sisa perjalanan untuk satu babak dalam hidup aku dengan impian aku.

2010-10-15T13:00:00.004+10:30

belum mampu untuk jatuh.
belum mampu untuk tewas.

cume harapan yang ada.
tabahkan aku Tuhan.

menerima semua tulisan Mu.
tetapkan aku tuhan untuk yakin dengan
semua keputusanMu yang terbaek untuk ku.

2010-10-09T09:11:00.003+10:30

tak perlu bandingkan apa yang kau ada dan dapat dengan apa yang orang lain ada dan dapat

kerana percaya la duhai hati sesungguhnya Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kau dan apa yang kau perlukan.

harus bersyukur dengan setiap nikmat yang telah diberi.

alhamdulillah.

sabar is the keyword.

resolusi

2010-10-05T12:19:00.004+10:30

perlukan sibukkan diri dengan kerja-kerja bermanfaat supaya fikiran-fikiran negatif tidak menghatui diri.

maafkan saya untuk tidak faham yang satu itu sebelum ini.

maafkan saya untuk bermasam muka.

saya akan cuba lebih faham selepas ini.

mungkin ini yang Tuhan ingin tunjukkan pada saya.

Isnt HE sweet?

yang itu masih terlalu susah.

2010-09-10T06:07:00.004+09:30

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

buat keluarga dan sahabat tercinta.

Tahun ni beraya kat Adelaide, mungkin yang terakhir

takpela Allah tahu yang terbaek.

tapi tapi rindu sambal udang mak dan makan beramai -ramai lepas sembahyang raya bersama family. riuh satu rumah pagi raya. takpe zue, insyaAllah tahun depan kalau ade kesempatan boleh beraya bersama mereka lagi.

yeay! tahun ni boleh pegi sembahyang sunat aidilfitri. eheh.

Maaf Zahir dan Batin everyone.

2010-09-08T23:21:00.002+09:30

sob. sob.

mahu pulang ke pangkuan mereka

beraya bersama.

ramadhan dah sampai ke penghujungnya.

semoga segala amalan ditemima

yang memiliki kerajaan langit dan bumi

esok paper nutritions

doakan saya.

mode: homesick teramat.

2010-09-04T17:43:00.002+09:30

mahu terbang ke bumi tuhan di sebelah sana.

mahu bersama mereka yang dicintai.

mahu berada di tengah-tengah mereka dalam keadaan

yang paling sakai dan bodoh dan dungu dan serba kekurangan

tetapi masih rasa selamat, dipunyai, tak dihakimi dan takkan ditinggalkan.

ukhuwah itu bukan terletak pada petemuan

bukan pada manisnya ucapan di bibir

tetapi pada ingatan seseorang terhadap saudaranya dalam doanya.

mode: rindu.

2010-08-22T13:37:00.000+09:30

1/3 ramadhan dah berlalu. semoga segala ibadah diterima.
semoga diberikan kesihatan untuk meneruskan perlumbaan.

setahun. semoga tercapai yang setahun itu sebab dah sampai masa untuk ke next level.
Ya Allah permudahkan.

2010-08-12T08:15:00.001+09:30

tahu?

ada benda yang menarik dan menghalang engkau untuk tidak maju.

2010-08-05T19:43:00.003+09:30

demi masa

sesungguhnya manusia kerugian

masa semakin pantas berlari

dan aku semakin tercungap-cungap mengejar

so little time

yet so many thing to be done

Ahlan wa sahlan ya Ramadhan

semoga pertemuan kita kali ini

lebih baik dari pertemuan kita yang lepas

..I will definitely stab u from the front..

2010-08-02T21:38:00.006+09:30

we always making fun of each other

we fight all the time

we slap each other

we yell to each other

we kick each other

but

we always know that we love each other

ini teman gaduh saya

I feel grateful that our path crossed

Thank you Allah for a friend like her

semoga tak habis di sini cerita kita

semoga pengakhiran cerita kita hingga ke negeri abadi nanti

2010-07-31T19:20:00.003+09:30

senyum
walaupun sebenarnya kau tak mampu

senyum
semoga senyuman mu menjadi penghibur hati
semoga senyuman mu menjadi semangat buat yang memerlukan

senyum
kerana kau tahu di sini bukan pengakhiran cerita

senyum
kerana hanya yang Maha Mengetahui
tahu setiap satu yang terbaik untuk kau

senyum

2010-07-24T14:25:00.001+09:30

homesick.

i miss everyone back at home.

mak, abang din, abang ayeng, haikal, hafizi,

nenek, cousins, wiwe, etc.

every single one

2010-07-20T23:38:00.001+09:30

hilang rase itu.

tiupkan aku tiupan-tiupan semangat

supaya dapat aku bertahan

..random thought..

2010-07-18T13:31:00.003+09:30

patut refleksi diri. bukan pada satu aspek sahaja. tapi menyeluruh.
perasaan dan hati yang semakin tidak keruan.
sudah banyak sign tapi diri masih dalam denial.
takut untuk membuat keputusan.
rasa kehilangan mereka satu persatu.
masa semakin pantas berlalu dan aku tercungap-cungap mengejar.
kerja yang tak pernah putus,
kehidupan duniawi yang semakin menguasai keseluruhan diri.
hati yang semakin kebuluran.
perasaan yang semakin rumit.
me-time yang semakin berkurangan.
kegilaan yang semakin terserlah.
kemahuan hati yang semakin berbeza dengan yang sepatutnya.

despites of everything, i still can smile

because deep inside i believe, He will alwiz be there for me.

2010-07-14T18:54:00.002+09:30

so that's it?

u gonna ignore me now?

2010-07-04T16:24:00.002+09:30

kalau setakat complaint je pastu lari dari masalah

sampai bila pun takkan selesai masalah tu

kita patut pulang dan betulkan apa yang tak betul

sebab kalau bukan kita yang betulkan

siapa lagi?

currently im having my hard time

the emotion is not that stable

please bare with me

hopefully the misery will end soon.

2010-07-03T16:49:00.001+09:30

aku mohon pertolongan Mu ya tuhan.

sesungguhnya aku yakin hanya Engkau yang mampu menenangkan apa yang ada di dalam dada.

sesungguhnya hanya Engkau yang benar-benar faham.

2010-06-14T21:26:00.002+09:30

the feeling is not quite right and i dont know why.

2010-06-01T15:58:00.005+09:30

kawan-kawan,

sila la buka mata dan keluar daripada kepongpong masing-masing. banyak lagi benda yang lagi besar yang berlaku kat dunia luar tu. buka mata dan ambil tahu. itu yang paling kurang kamu semua boleh buat.

the world does not only revolve around you.

stop being ignorant.

2010-05-24T17:00:00.002+09:30

sekarang,

baru betul-betul terase. keliru dan tak tahu macam mane nak cakap. hari tu time bercakap macam dah betul-betul bersedia. sekarang bile di tanye lagi sekali hati macam berbolak-balik.

duhai hati. pilih jalan yang betul. tolong la.

2010-05-23T21:39:00.002+09:30

done! :D

and i thank Him for all the ideas, knowledge, health and time. You are the sweetest ever. thank you.

and my holidays begin. bookfree. classfree. carefree. totally like it. :)

2010-05-22T15:27:00.002+09:30

kadang-kadang expectation orang-orang yang kita sayang sangat berat untuk dipikul.

mampu ke aku?

kalau aku tak sampai tahap expectation mereka macam mane?

sesungguhnya hanye Yang Maha Mengetahui yang tahu segala isi hati.

tabah la duhai hati.

2010-05-21T00:46:00.002+09:30

can never be replaced.

i pray for this.

sabar is the keyword.

i will always remember this conversation.

2010-05-20T14:27:00.001+09:30

bench and marking. benchmarking.

urgh!

dear God, please help me get through this.

2010-05-18T23:25:00.001+09:30

di mane pengakhiran cerita itu nanti?

seperti yang di rancang ke?

atau

ade cerite laen selepas itu?

2010-04-24T17:19:00.004+09:30

i think i loss the feeling.

the feeling that i cherish all these years.

i want to move forward

to the next level

because right now

i feel like we are static

in the same place like years ago

we feel we need to move forward

but i still do not have the power,

the courage to remove all the barriers

but,

sometimes i think that maybe

just maybe i am too afraid to face the barrier

because i am afraid to lose

tahu,

kadang-kadang saya ada rasa perasaan yang pelik

yang kadang-kadang saya sendiri tak faham apa yang saya mahu

ataupun kadang-kadang saya takut nak terima apa yang saya rasa

saya menafikan apa yang saya rasa

sebab saya takut nak terima kenyataan yang saya dah tak ada perasaan itu lagi

perasaan yang saya rasa bertahun-tahun dulu

tapi,

kadang-kadang saya rasa saya ini seorang yang rumit

atau pun perasaan itu sesuatu yang rumit

yang saya sendiri pun kadang-kadang tak faham

ok.

sebenarnya saya nak sampaikan sesuatu tapi saya tak tahu

bagaimana nak sampaikan

jadi enrty ini agak rumit untuk difahami

sebab saya rasa saya cuma merepek

ataupun saya menafikan apa yang saya rasa

ataupun saya tengah emo sebenarnya

ataupun saya rasa ditinggalkan

ataupun sebenarnya saya rasa tertekan

kan saya dah kata

kadang-kadang saya sendiri pun tak tahu

apa yang saya rasa.

2010-04-10T08:58:00.004+09:30

management. hari ini saye belajar management. saye rase istilah-istilah yang digunakan sgt asing.

dear God, please help me survive management. please.

current mode: rindu. mahu pulang ke pangkuan orang-orang tersayang di benua sebelah sane.

2010-04-09T12:33:00.003+09:30

hati seorang yang bergelar manusia itu cukup sensitif.

hati, bahagian kecil dalam diri seorang yang bergelar manusia itu

susah dididik.

penat akal memujuk hati supaya menerima alasan yang diberi.

tapi hati tetap berdegil dengan keputusannya.

jadi bila sesuatu yang dilakukan tak sama dengan kemahuan hati,

akan ade rase ketidakpuasan.

hati boleh dididik. tapi susah.

hati ibarat buih dalam air yang mendidih.

sekejap di atas sekejap di bawah.

dalam masa sekelip mata pendirian hati boleh berubah.

2010-04-08T13:29:00.002+09:30

dunia ini memang tidak adil kerana

dunia memang diciptakan sebagai ujian

2010-03-26T15:21:00.002+10:30

malas la nak deal dengan benda-benda remeh-temeh yang macam sampah ni. kehadiran kau pun tak membantu keadaan. ah bodoh la rase macam ni.

2010-03-17T19:21:00.001+10:30

thank you Allah for lending me the strength today.

i was expecting the same thing.

it always turn out the same way.

2010-03-12T12:39:00.002+10:30

"seseorang yang bisa menghuru-harakan hidup seseorang tetapi masih tetap mendapat perhatian dan layanan yang istimewa dari yang hidupnya huru-hara"

im one of them :)

2010-03-10T23:29:00.003+10:30

perasaan itu sesuatu yang rumit untuk difahami.

it hurt me so much just knowing about it even though i know nothing is happening.

..old..

2010-03-02T16:35:00.004+10:30

march is coming and im feeling old already. everyone is calling me kakak and the other day someone is calling me aunty. haha. age also comes with big responsibilities. haih~ rase mahu jadi kanak-kanak semula. up until now life is good. seriously. thank u Allah for the good life i have and thanks for the people who concern about me because of my previous entries sound moody and seems like im having problems. im good. really. it just that a girl can be complicated sometimes. so does me. hehe. thanks again guys for the concern. i feel loved!

lets end the angry episode. shall we?

and start with the nice one. :D

2010-02-26T11:31:00.001+10:30

saye tak mahu ape-ape lagi. mungkin saye belum cukup baek.

im sorry for my imperfection.

2010-02-25T12:22:00.000+10:30

perasaan bercampur-baur. that is what i feel now. ade macam-macam dalam fikiran sekarang ni. luckily i have my beloved housemates that i can share some of the problem with.

2010-02-24T00:44:00.000+10:30

the hectic and busy life is now begin.

2010-02-23T11:25:00.000+10:30

a temporary insanity. that is what i have.

..done..

2010-02-23T11:00:00.003+10:30

im done with ethics paper. Thank you Allah for giving me the idea to do the assignment. mahu pergi meronggeng sebentar bersama housemate kesayangan sebelum meneruskan lagi tuntutan-tuntutan duniawi yang laen.

please forgive me,

i really have no intention to interrupt you.

saye betul-betul tak tahu.

..takut..

2010-02-21T18:08:00.002+10:30

im afraid of what might happen in the future. i dont know if i have the courage to face the future if the future is not like what i planned for this whole life. dear God, please give me the strength to face the future that U have written for me. tabahkan aku tuhan.

takziah buat sahabat; Fahimah Hambari, yang baru kematian bapa tersayang pagi ini.

berikan ketabahan ke dalam hati nya ya Tuhan.

2010-02-20T13:26:00.006+10:30

ethics position paper is giving me a severe headache. i dont even know how to start. dear GOD, please help me because only U can. :D

kenape perlu merapu-rapu kalau sebenarnye ape yang mahu disampaikan ialah

kau rindu aku.

die memang pelik.

saye tahu die memang begitu.

tapi mungkin sebab itu saye suke die :D

..ethics..

2010-02-17T13:17:00.002+10:30

making a decision alone is hard enough for me. adding ethics to it will only make it more complicated. life. haih!

just something that i learnt today.

2010-02-16T17:35:00.002+10:30

how can someone acts like nothing happen when obviously something is happening.

confuse.

2010-02-15T10:22:00.003+10:30

saye rase saye ade konflik dalam diri. pagi ini saye rase saye hipokrit. lepas tu saye rase hipokrit tu bagus. confuse dengan diri sendiri. haish.

bye.

confuse dengan isu semasa, bak kata shafnah sengal malampau.

kes buang anak melampau-lampau. bukan tak tahu proses ape yang perlu untuk dapat anak. tapi masih nak buat. lepas tu anak yang tak berdosa tu juga jadi mangsa.
kes liwat anwar yang dah berpuluhan tahun. sudah la. cukup-cukup la tu. dah naik bosan dah baca tak habis-habis.
kes tangkap khalwat plak dah macam jadi satu berita penting dalam berita. kes curang suami isteri. kes lari ikut kekasih. kes rogol etc.

..mahu lebih..

2010-02-14T11:26:00.002+10:30

i keep on wanting more. seorang manusia itu memang tak pernah puas dan tamak. sudah diberi betis nak peha pulak. aku selalu bertanya soalan yang sama kepada yang satu itu. dan seperti dijangka jawapan yang aku dapat adalah seperti yang aku fikirkan dan aku dengar sebelum-sebelum ini. tapi aku macam tak putus harapan bertanya berulang-ulang kali dengan harapan aku akan dapat jawapan seperti yang aku mahukan. demand kan aku? bukan jawapan yang aku dapat itu buruk atau tak cukup baik cuma jawapan yang aku dapat dari yang satu itu bukan seperti yang aku mahukan. dah cukup baik dah jawapan yang aku dapat dari yang satu itu. tapi disebabkan aku seorang manusia, i keep on wanting more. aku mahu dipuja setinggi langit konon macam aku la yang terbaek di bumi ini or at least untuk yang satu itu. haha. ketawakan diri sendiri. manusia memang tamak dan mahu lebih. tapi kan kadang-kadang jawapan dari yang satu itu buat aku terfikir mahu meneroka apa lagi yang ada untuk aku di bumi tuhan yang besar ini. mungkin di bumi sebelah yang lain ada yang lagi baik untuk aku. seriously zue? aku rasa masalah aku ialah aku tak bersyukur dan tak berpuas hati dengan apa yang aku ada. maafkan aku Allah untuk penyakit hati ini. astaghfirullah.

..yakin?

2010-02-13T20:43:00.002+10:30

aku selalu cari jawapan untuk setiap persoalan itu tapi takde satu pun jawapan yang pasti. berbaloikah setiap apa yang dilakukan hampir setengah dekad ini? bersediakah untuk bahagian yang paling sensitif itu hancur berkecai sekali lagi? bersediakah untuk memberi semuanya pada yang tak pasti? ape sebenarnye bukti yang ada yang betul-betul yakin untuk setiap keputusan yang dibuat? apa sebenarnya yang dirasa? nafsu? keinginan? seberapa yakin kah apa yang dirasa seperti yang diclaim? atau itu cuma mainan perasaan yang menginginkan? yakin kah aku pada keputusan aku nanti? seberapa yakin kah aku pada yang satu itu? kadang-kadang semua ini menakutkan. betul. aku takut. sangat amat tak mahu hancur berkecai seperti debu lagi. payah nak kutip satu-satu nak sambung balik dan kembali seperti sedia kala dengan senyuman yang bukan dibuat-buat. aku bukan seperti mereka yang bisa melukiskan perasaan dengan kata-kata atau perkataan. aku lebih selesa kalau semua tersimpan kekal rapi di dalam. akhir ini semua macam kabur. makin banyak yang mengelirukan. aku macam hidup dalam denial. aku asyik cakap yang tiada apa-apa yang berubah. aku ignore setiap satu yang aku jumpa. tapi hakikatnya semua akan berubah biar pun sedikit. yang dah sah pun tak pasti tulisan masa depan mereka apa lagi aku yang masih tak pasti. ya Tuhan, tunjukkan aku. tabahkan aku kalau tulisanMu nanti bukan seperti yang aku mahu. bukan seperti yang aku lakar dalam perancangan masa depan nanti. tabahkan aku Tuhan.

..thank you for doing this all these years..

2010-02-11T12:42:00.006+10:30

"Wait For Me"

You are not alone tonight

Imagine me there by your side

It's so hard to be here so far away from you

I'm counting the days till

I'm finally done

I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one

It feels like forever till I return to you

But it helps me on those lonely nights

It's that one thing that keeps me alive

Knowing that you wait for me

Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside

We hang up the phone without saying goodnight

Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home

It's never been easy to say

But it's easier when I've gone away

Knowing that you wait for me

Ever so patiently

Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and

It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

What I'd give

What I'd do

Knowing I'm not there for you

Makes it so hard to leave

What I'd give

What I'd do

Anything to get me home to you

And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me

Ever so patiently

Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

thank you so-very-much

annoying sunshine

57 months

..so im back..

2010-02-10T10:51:00.010+10:30

blog ni dah macam bersawang. hehe. not that im busy to update my blog it just that im busy spending time with my beloved ones. hehe. now, im back to adelaide, back to my routine as student. final year student of pharmacy. this year gonna be a tough year. i guess. i wish i will survive this year because i cannot wait to go back to malaysia for good and be with my beloved ones all the time. ok, a bit exagerated there. hehe. let me update what is going on for the last two months and im gonna let the pictures do the talking cause they say a picture say thousands words.

the best mom in the whole world

cousins!

dikelilingi bidadari?

purple girls!

little cousins yang kadang-kadang menjengkelkan. hehe

in action!

they do make me smile

happy?

haikal yang ajar pose itu. hehe

die dah kawen. orang gila saya. hehe

happy family!

kesayangan!

mereka yang buat hidup saya huru-hara tapi saya adore mereka

ini teman gossip. hehe

so the holiday is over and now its the time to concentrate back on my studies. and also its time to spend with my lovely friends here in adelaide who feel likes family. the ones who make the part of being far away from the loved ones much easier. :D

..home is a place to be..

2009-12-06T20:24:00.001+10:30

im home! thus, the internet is not as fascinating as before and the blog is being neglected for a while. hehe. im loving where i am now. :D i always love my summer hols. lovely family, cousins, little lollies, crazy aunties and annoying sunshine always make me happy. after all, home is a place to be :D

2009-11-20T01:11:00.005+10:30

...i just want to let out what i feel but i do not know how and to whom should i tell. this feeling mounting up inside me and kill me slowly from the inside. kadang-kadang rase macam dada nak pecah pun ade. ah bodoh la rase macam ni. aku tak penah suke kene marah tapi kenape and kenape aku biarkan diri aku kene marah. anyone?

..reminder..

2009-11-19T16:39:00.005+10:30

..darn, the feeling again. rase cemburu kat orang laen yang boleh meluahkan kasih sayang itu. urgh! i want it too. demand kan saya ni? haih! dah bape kali dah remind diri untuk bersyukur tapi demon dalam hati asyik pujuk rayu cakap diorang tu lagi bagus dari apa yang aku ada. pastu mula la aku fikir bukan-bukan walaupun sebenarnya deep down in my heart i know bukan macam tu. tak semua orang dapat benda yang sama and setiap orang tu unik dan ada cara tersendiri nak tunjuk perasaan itu. mungkin lebih agresif dan ganas tapi dah tu cara dia. cara orang lain mungkin lembut dah lebih terbuka. tolong la faham. and demon, please pergi jauh-jauh dari aku sebab kau tak diperlukan di sini. kau cuma menyusahkan setiap kehidupan seorang manusia je. walaupun janji-janji kau tu macam mengujakan dan menyeronokkan tapi kau tu sebenarnya cuma nak cari kawan-kawan yang sama-sama kena bakar nanti kan? go to hell la. wait, kau memang akan pergi ke situ. tapi please la, aku tanak ikut kau. aku nak rasa makan anggur yang kat bawahnya ada mengalir sungai-sungai yang airnya sekali minum dah boleh menghilangkan dahaga selamanya. when i say forever, its really mean forever as in forever. tapi orang-orang itu tetap minum sebab nak menikmati kenikmatannya yang kau tak boleh dapat kat mana-mana selain kat tempat yang hakiki itu. mampu ke aku sampai ke sana? jauh panggang dari api kan. tapi itu sepatutnya ultimate destination setiap yang bergelar manusia. jadi tak salah kalau aku ada angan-angan itu. tapi cuma perlu tambahkan banyak lagi point-point untuk aku beli tiket ke sana. tapi bukan senang. serius aku cakap. sebab aku dah banyak kali jatuh. tapi ada kakak tu cakap senang. tapi kene jadi orang grade A dulu untuk bawak tanggungjawab yang grade A ni. semua pun akan jadi senang. tapi kalau kau orang grade D memang sangat susah la kau nak bawak tanggungjawab grade A ni. so aku pun fikir, aku ni orang grade berape? grade D tu pun belum tentu aku tapi dah berangan nak tinggal kat negeri abadi tu. haih!

so please la zue, rase cemburu itu tak perlu sebab kau tahu DIA tahu ape yang kau perlu lebih dari ape yang kau nak. walaupun kau rase ape yang kau nak tu jauh lebih bagus dari ape yang kau perlu. pastu, please la fokus study. kau cakap kau nak lulus dengan cemerlang tapi ade kau act cam kau nak lulus dengan cemerlang, kadang-kadang kan aku marah dengan kau ni zue. cakap tak serupa bikin. tolong la fikir. again, dont make u regret your own action sebab takde ape yang kau boleh buat untuk ulang masa.

p/s: im loving FOUR more than i love five. eheh. :D

..oh puh-lease..

2009-11-18T21:57:00.002+10:30

zue, please la. u only have two days yet u havent start studying when u have tonnes of things to study and remember. please be kind to yourself as u know u can do better. dont make u regret this. haish! puh-lease la.

p/s: i love FIVE. five sounds good to me. hehe.

..cant wait..

2009-11-15T14:20:00.008+10:30

..i can feel everyday after next week will be great. i cant wait. mahu jalan-jalan sambil menggangu sunshine memandu. saje nak balas dendam. hehe :D mahu tengok die sengih-sengih and buat joke yang buat saye ketawa, senyum and kadang-kadang geram. tapi kalau die ade kat depan saye, saye x boleh marah die lame-lame. he always know how to make me smile even at my worst. haih! one of the many reasons why i love him. mahu bergelak-ketawa seperti kanak-kanak bersama sepupu-sepupu yang sememangnya gila. and ouh, my dearest auntie, *she's only one year older than me and we kinda grow up together and bergaduh and sepak terajang and tido and mandi and do little stupid things together* die dah nak kawen. this 9th dec. im gonna miss those funny, interesting, sad and silly moment i spend with her. i wonder if we can still sleep together and do little things together after she's married. im gonna have to share her with her future husband now and im a bit sad. just a bit la but im very happy too for her because she found the one who can love and take care of her. ok, hopefully lepas ni aku still boleh tido dengan kau lagi and sepak terajang kau and buat bende-bende gila dengan kau. hehe. semoga kamu bahagia sampai bila-bila. and of course, i will always love u despites of anything. eh, jap saye juga tau my days will be miserable because of my annoying little lollies itu. haih! tapi like i said, most of the time i adore their cuteness. hehe. and mak saye. i know i will have great time with mak too. hehe. kadang-kadang saye rindu die marah-marah and membebel kat saye. :) pastu abang-abang saye. i thought we will not having brother-sister fight after my second brother get married, but knowing him, i still have fight with him whenever he's home, nak tengok channel tv mane, maen baling2 bantal before tido and he still love to tease me. haih! my annoying brother. but, that one of the many reasons why i love him so much. hehe. my first brother always being a protective one. maybe because he's the eldest kot. i love u big bro! ouh dan sepupu-sepupu saye yang comel-comel itu, saye rindu, kadang-kadang saye marah jugak dengan perangai diorang, but well, that is what makes my life interesting. rindu juga mahu spend mase dengan auntie-auntie saye yang laen. bergossip dengan mereka pun best jugak. haha.

little lollies 2

annoying brother

the protective and annoying one! *materialistik betul*

crazy cousins and auntie

family kesayangan

mak and lillte lollies 1

crazy auntie with her husband-to-be

annoying kan? sunshine*the one and only*

little cousins!

takpe-takpe, another 8 days and i can feel my days ahead will be great. :D :D :D

..where art thou..

2009-11-09T12:55:00.006+10:30

im doing my usual routine, blog hoping from one blog to another. i love to read about how the blogger express what they feel into words. i adore the writing that can makes me feel about how they really feel just by reading their words. i adore how they can use and arrange the words beautifully and sometimes i just adore the writing that i cant understand the meaning. its like mystery, only the writer and few can understand. hehe. but, i dont have such gift. i dunno how to express my feeling through words. in fact i dunno how to express them. only few people close to me know how i really feel sometimes. the truth is i just dunno how to express or tell anyone about my feeling. heh. i guess that is me.

ok but that is not the point of my entry today, after reading one of my friend entry, i feel i need to find my passion towards what im doing doing now. i mean pharmacy, drugs, patient, disease, etc. i used to have a passion about drugs and chemistry. but now, i dunno where its go; my passion. my friend feel really sad about her last lecture because after this, she will really miss to hear a lecture about animal. i quote, "for some people it might be 50 minutes intelligence crap talking, but for me its like a story telling about animal that i craving for more". there, from her writing i can feel her strong passion towarsd what she's studying or doing now. she dont mind spending whole her time in the lab with her glowworm (her lab project i guess) and dont mind wake up as early as 4 am just to go to the field trip. for three years that is how her life is, but yet she is still craving for more. that the passion i need. last nite, my dear someone said, if he is giving a chance to do something that he's passion about, he will study and do it properly despites of only worrying about failing the course. the passion is more important. yet, i still complaining about the course, the lecturer, the assignment, the course, etc eventough i've been given the chance to do something that im passion about. i think i need to be more grateful about what i have and i need to find the passion that i used to have. i need to find and start doing it by heart and not just for the sake of the exam.

where art thou passion? please come back to me and im really sorry for ignoring you all this while.

..exam..

2009-11-08T16:40:00.005+10:30

as for now, everyone is busy studying for the final exam. same goes to me. haih! time-time macam ni pressure banyak dan kadang-kadang boleh menimbulkan perlakuan yang pelik-pelik. so people, please bare with me. sekejap je. at least for this two weeks, after that, i promise i will be back to normal. hehe.

so here the significant dates in november

14th nov: pharmacology 301
17th nov: applied pharmacotherapeutics 301
21st nov: molecular & chemical basis therapeutics 301
22nd nov: melbourne and shopping
23rd nov: malaysia, here i come. again. hehe :D

woot! woot! i cant wait to go back to malaysia *again*, spending time with my lovely family and my annoying sunshine and also my lollies and my crazy cousins too! :D :D :D

but for now, please, please zue for this two weeks concentrate on your studies. please. two weeks je. lepas tu kite ronggeng. ok?

GOOD LUCK FRIENDS!

hugs and love

..confuse..

2009-11-02T14:36:00.004+10:30

kalau betul kitorang yang salah, takkan sampai semua orang pun salah? confuse kan? tapi hati aku kata kalau sekali je kau jadi camtu takpe la. tapi kalau kau dah buat berkali2 camne plak? itu munkin bisikan syaitan jugak tu. hati kitorang pun sakit jugak. ukhwah fillah tu bukan jadi sebelah pihak je. semua orang pun patut terlibat kan? heh. hati aku kata lagi "ah! suka hati la nak jadi apa?" tapi hakikatnya aku tetap berfikir dan kadang-kadang mengganggu fikiran aku. hakikatnya i do love u even sometimes i dont want to. confuse lagi. mungkin salah aku. kene banyak lagi reflect diri sendiri ni.
ya Allah ampun kan dosa hambaMu ini dan tunjukkan aku jalan ya Allah. semoga semua kembali seperti biasa.

at time like this, i need my family, i feel belong just being with them. we did fight sometimes but deep down inside i know they will always be there for me. loving me unconditionally. or maybe its just me having some sort of problem being too close with someone other than family. i feel pity for someone who didnt have this family bonding. i really do. i am grateful for each and everyone i love in my life. without them, i dont think i can face this world. and of course i need Allah the most. without Him i wont be existed in this world and i wont have the lovely people i have in my life now. i do want to erase some people in my life though, but maybe that is the best for me to learn something in this life. Allah know the best what i need.

p/s: crap entry and crap feeling. maybe because the exam is just around the corner and im started to feel the pressure. hehe.

..rindu..

2009-10-20T20:30:00.009+10:30

i miz my lollipops! sangat annoy dengan mereka kadang-kadang. tapi most of the time i adore their cuteness. especially when haikal is telling his stories and hafizi is giggling over the joke. i really am missing them oh-so-very much.

muhamad haikal

syahrul hafizi

p/s: counting days to see and playing around with my lollies again. honestly, i couldnt wait. 34 days left.

sunshine,

i miz u too

..lupa..

2009-10-20T16:41:00.004+10:30

lari dari realiti sampai terlupa kewujudan realiti itu.
sibuk merancang masa hadapan hingga terlupa kewujudan realiti itu.
realiti itu masih di situ dan tak hilang begitu sahaja.
terpaksa merancang semula. sukar tapi tiada pilihan.
if only i could change the fact.
terima kasih kepada yang mengingatkan kembali kepada realiti itu.
terima kasih kepada yang setia menyokong dan sentiasa mengingatkan.
terima kasih kepada yang setia di sini walaupun kau punya pilihan untuk pergi.
kau punya banyak pilihan untuk terus hidup tanpa realiti yang menyakitkan itu.
tapi kau masih setia untuk memilih yang menyakitkan.
jutaan terima kasih untuk semua-semua. aku akan terus menjagamu selagi ku mampu.
bersyukur dipertemukan dengan kau di salah satu persimpangan jalan hidup ini.
terima kasih untuk semua.

TERIMA KASIH
always.

..fix me please..

2009-10-16T11:48:00.003+10:30

i need to be fixed. i have to fix me fisrt before i can do anything. even a simple thing. i think i loss the enthusiasm and optimism to be who i am now, to be here now. zue, tolong la bersyukur. haih!

so anyone care to fix me?

..envy..

2009-10-13T16:21:00.003+10:30

aku cemburu pada kehidupan itu. kehidupan yang aku rasekan cukup sempurna. aku mempersoalkan perbezaan kehidupan aku dan kau. aku mahukan itu. sungguh kehidupan mereka buat aku menangis. bukan sebab terlalu sedih. tapi kehidupan itu betul-betul menyentuh bahagian sensitif dalam segumpal daging ini yang mampu membuat aku menangis. ini bukan nangis yang main-main atau sekadar rase simpati. ini tangisan yang gembira campur cemburu yang aku tak mampu tahan-tahan lagi walaupun di hadapan khalayak ramai. sungguh aku cemburu kehidupan itu. bukan cemburu mahu hancurkan kehidupan kau tapi cemburu kerana aku mahukan kehidupan yang macam itu juga. kasih sayang yang macam itu juga. ketabahan yang macam itu juga. kebergantungan yang macam itu juga. isgtighfar sebentar kerana tiba-tiba rase tak bersyukur. takpela kawan, semoga kehidupan kamu kekal bahagia dan aku harap kehidupan aku akan bahagia juga seperti kau. aku doakan. doakan aku juga ya. sungguh aku mahukan kehidupan yang seperti kamu-kamu. tabahla hati. perancangan ALLAH untuk setiap umatNya adalah yang terbaek.

..here again..

2009-10-09T18:40:00.006+10:30

im back to adelaide. im having such a good eid with family tercinta and great spring holidays too. hehe. will update about it later. but now, im having this terrible homesick feeling. i miz my mom, abg din, haikal, abg ayeng, hafizi, nenek, my aunties and all my cousins and of course my annoying sunshine. i hate this feeling. urgh! :(

hati ku bukan di sini

ouh angin,

kirimkan salam rindu ku

pada mereka di sana

..i have a great life with great people in it, what could i possibly ask for more?

2009-09-15T21:30:00.015+09:30

after so long, let me update what i've been up to lately, alaa basicly enjoying my life with great people in my life.

15th August-16th August,

there were visitors came from jordan and russia, so we as host drive them around adelaide. we went to Morialta park (first time for us too), Gorge Wildlife Park, Mount Lofty, Glenelg, St. Kilda, Port Adelaide and we had kangaroo dishes as dinner at Mekong Thai. here some of the pictures taken during the jalan-jalan.

kangaroo dishes at mekong thai

St. Kilda

Jongkat-jongket ini byk kali memalukan saye. hehe.

Morialta Park with our visitors

This is my first time cuddling koala after 3 years in Australia. Gorge Wildlife Park.

Port Adelaide.

and ouh, i know it might be late, but on 16th August, my sunshine graduated. yeay! congratulations dear. how i wish i was there to celebrate your success too. sob. sob.

congratulations encik :D

then comes ramadhan, i feel more calm, rajin and more motivated in doing things too. i love this month so much because this is the only time i can feel this calm and relax. everything seems so easy. plus we have series of iftar together. by together i mean, with all my great friends in adelaide la kan. we also have our own pre-aidilfitri celebration because most of us are going back for this coming aidilfitri. hehe. siap maen bunga api lagi. since hari kemerdekaan fall into bulan ramadhan, we also have the celebration during this month. we also have our own bazaar ramadhan for the first time in adelaide. mestila seronok kan. my housemates and i also jadi peniaga. we sold roti john, egg tart, dadih, serunding and karipap. alhamdulillah everything were sold out. hehe. so, lets see some of the pictures taken during ramadhan 1430.

Sambutan malam kemerdekaan

iftar at shipster. hehe.

iftar at brompton.

macam retarded kan? :P

Penjual roti john berjaya. Bazaar ramadhan, Barr Smith Lawn, University of Adelaide

Pre-aidilfitri celebration.

kami bakal ahli famasi berjaya. hehe.

shareholders. ok tak cukop 2 org lagi.

roti john in the making!

Summary;

i have a really great life. im blessed for having this life and all the people in it;my family, my sunshine and all my friends. thank you so very much Allah for these people. All in all saya sayang rakan-rakan saya semua :D. what could i possibly ask for more? hehe.

p/s: looking forward for this coming raya because im going back home after 2 years celebrating aidilfitri without my family. yeay! tidak sabar menunggu. :D :D :D

..the feeling..

2009-09-03T06:33:00.002+09:30

..kenape perlu rase macam itu? rase macam cemburu dengan kehidupan orang laen. again, this feeling is unreasonable. haih. saye sepatutnye gembira atas kegembiraan orang lain kan? Ya Allah ampunkan hambaMu ini kerana mempunyai penyakit hati ini.

..numb..

2009-08-28T06:38:00.005+09:30

two weeks off?

numb-ing myself.

mampukah aku?

feeling is just too complicated,

that i yet to understand.

..somehow

2009-08-20T10:28:00.004+09:30

..i just feel left out. which is unreasonable. i have such good and nice friends with me here in adelaide who always there for me, a lovely family who never fail to pray for me and always love me despite of distances, a sunshine who never fail to keep my day shining eventough there are miles between us. I am blessed for having these much loves and yet the feeling is just too complicated and unstable, sensitive is my new friend. shooh..shooh i dun need u.

Tidak bersyukurkah aku ya Allah?

Ya Allah kurniakan ketenangan dalam hati ini. hanya Kau yang mampu.

Ahlan Wa Sahlan ya Ramadhan.

Kepada semua kenalan,

Saya mohon maaf atas setiap kesalahan saya pada kalian. Mohon di maafkan.

..senyum..

2009-08-11T10:50:00.003+09:30

we are 51 months older and im glad and happy. thus, the title. lets keep counting until we lost the number. ok? :D

got my dose this morning and i high as usual. :D

..again..

2009-08-11T00:12:00.009+09:30

mood itu datang lagi.
mood when im questioning myself again n again why i am taking pharmacy.
urgh!
stress la gini.

i need someone to talk with.

that particular someone,

who i can talk everything about.

but, again distances are just cruel

that he keeps my particular someone away from me.

i need my dose.

im persuading myself to understand the situation,

but my heart keep refusing to understand

and it hurts me.

it feels like my hope has been crushed into pieces.

in need of my drug. my own brand type of heroin.

..winter break update..

2009-08-01T22:18:00.034+09:30

not gonna talk much. lets the pictures do the talking.

6th july 2006
journey to new zealand began. thanks to faezah and housemates also tengku chep for letting me and my friends staying in your house and for being good host and for helping us a lot.

7th july 2009
Lake Tekapo and ice-skating on open rink

ice-skating on open rink

Lake Tekapo

8th july 2009
Puzzling world, Great maze and Room of Illusion

Ilusi semata-mata

9th july 2009

Queenstown, Bungy and Shotover

10th july 2009
Deer Park Heights and Gondola + Luge

Deer Park heights yg foggy

Gondola
Luge
Chair Lift

11th july 2009

Bluff

12th july 2009

Dunedin, University of Otago, The Steepest Street and Lake Wanaka

University of Otago
The Steepest Street Lake Wanaka, macam-macam gaya ade

13th july 2009

Hanmer Spring

14th july 2009

City of Christchurch, Cathedral Square

Dari Adelaide ke Christchurch :D

15th july 2009

Auckland, thank to chikorn and teha for layaning us and letting us staying at their houses

16th july 2009

Hamilton, thanks to zana and housemates for letting us staying at their house

17th july 2009

Lake Taupo, Honey Hive and Huka Falls

Huka Falls

Lake Taupo

18th july 2009

Kiwi 360, Mount Maunganui, Tauranga, Hobbiton at Matamata and thanks to kak ayu for the dinner that night. the sambal belacan was superb and the house was homey.

Kak Ayu's house yg homey, siap ade api as heater.

I conquered the so-called Mount Maunganui in 3o minutes.

19th july 2009

Swooping at Rotorua, Candy Land and ice-creaming at Tirau. The manuka honey ice-cream was awesome.

Candy Land yg riang.

Swooping yg sangat best.

20th july 2009

visiting nenek ayong (khatijah's grandmom), skytower and jalan-jalan at Auckland city also watching the latest Harry Potter at IMAX.

Kaki saye shivering atas kaca itu.

Us with nenek ayong. so many funny stories happen in 2 hours here. hehe.

21st july 2009

back to downunder. meeting nadee n adil n ismah.

adil, ur cooking was great cume over pedas.

nadee, everytime i meet u i feel like a child again. thank you for layaning me.

i love both of u to the bits :D

22nd july 2009

Road Show Palestine

Macam Pegawai JPA pun ade dah. hehe.

Saye dan Ibtisam. Kami pegang a cute little bendera Palestin.

25th july 2009

Hockey match, Malaysia vs Kookaburas (Australia). but sadly, Malaysia didnt wint the game (1-8). But it was a good game from aussie. hehe.

penyokong yg setia baek kalah atau menang.

Summary;

i have a very good winter holidays with my friends. A long vacation that i've experienced so far. Also a lot of money burn. hehe. need so much money to have fun nowadays, aite? macam-macam saya belajar. Subhanallah, indahnya alam ciptaan Tuhan. Now, new semester has started and the routine as a student begin. Lets hope this semester will be better than last semester. With that, im officially finishing my holidays.

p/s: tahun depan nak ke mana pula kawan-kawan? hehe.

..its holidays, baby..

2009-07-05T00:30:00.010+09:30

so winter holidays is here.
exam is finished.
its hard i tell you.
MCBT is hard, thats the only paper i hope to score at first.
but the questions are tough. i lost my hope on that.
Pharmacology is ok. at least i think so.
Applied Pharmacotherapeutics is ok too. i hope.
Pharmaceutics is way scarier than AP.
but, its all in the past.
for now i just can hope and berdoa and bertawakal.
for Allah to help me get the good result. or pass?
i have done and try my best.

and now, the holidays is started.
its time to partay, baby. :D
im looking forward for new zealand trip.
yeay!

Ya Allah selamatkanlah perjalanan kami. Jauhkanlah kami dari segala malapetaka dan bahaya. Jauhkan kami dari jangkitan swine flu.

having picnic with my dearest friends today to celebrate Lynn's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR.

the birthday girl (in white)

we having a nice time eating and laughing and chatting.
new terms for today: 'potong kucing' and 'hit the pictures'. haha.
thanks friends! im having a nice time again with u guys after spending a long time with those boring notes. hehe. afterall holiday is time for partay kan rakan-rakan?

p/s: ade sesi "potong kucing" tadi, tapi gambar-gambar masih kat ibtisam. later ill upload the pictures.

the photographer of the day

p/p/s: esok sesi kill the time sambil melayan laskar pelangi!

..emergency chocolate..

2009-06-20T04:43:00.007+09:30

EMERGENCY CHOCOLATE

For immediate relief of: Chocolate cravings, Lovesickness, Exam pressure, Mild Anxiety and Extreme Hunger.

Directions for use: Tear open wrapper, break off desired dosage, and consume. Alternatively massage into the affected area. Repeat dosage as required until all finished. If symptoms persist consult your local confectioner.

My dear friend give me the remedy this evening as my goodluck gift for the exam. it makes me smile all the night because of it. didnt i told u my friend here is a very good friend and im blessed for having such a good friend like her. Thank you Allah for sending this friend to me. Thank you Siti Khatijah Mohd Saffian. you made my day. i pray that u and me gonna doing great for this coming exam.

..pre-exam party..

2009-06-15T21:18:00.006+09:30

so we have what we called pre-exam party last saturday. as usual we like to gather n makan-makan n gelak-gelak and do all the bende-bende pelik together. some of us playing the silent killer game again. but some of us decided just to watch they playing the game. in the first round cik siti mariam already ruined the game by saying "kenape my kertas tak tulis ape2" haha. we laugh until sakit perut n ade jugak gelak sampai melompat2. haha. then, some of them decide to balik since they have to take the bus and its already nite plus cold outside. tapi yang tinggal plak decided to play with m**e *p. haha. ape-ape la kawan-kawan saye ni. haish! but my friends here are the reason my life in adelaide is full with happiness. well, ive said this too many times but i do love u guys a lot. :D here some of the pictures taken during the what we called party.

after this all of us will be facing our final exam and all the gathering activities have to be stop for a while. ill be missing u guys. tapi takpe after the final exam, holiday is coming and time to berparti liar lagi! hehe :D. im looking forward to holidays. last but not least,

GOOD LUCK RAKAN-RAKAN!

..urgh!

2009-06-09T16:03:00.002+09:30

june is here, means exam is coming.
and thats mean i need to start revising or studying those thick notes on my desk.
and im kinda not enjoying it.

and seriously i need someone to remind me again why im studying pharmacy
because apparently im not enjoying AP.
is AP design to fail me?
anyone?

..gembira..

2009-05-31T01:21:00.001+09:30

happy mode on.

thank you Allah. Alhamdulillah.

decision is made. lets hope its for the best.

..jealous..

2009-05-26T23:53:00.002+09:30

kadang-kadang saya cemburu dengan kehidupan orang laen
pastu rase tak bersyukur plak.
tapi betul cemburu.
mungkin bukan kehidupan la.
tapi ade sesuatu yang saye cemburu.
saye cemburu dengan kasih-sayang itu
dan bagaimana mereka meluahkan kasih-sayang itu.
di mana-mana sahaja mereka luahkan.
saya cemburu.

betul.

tak tipu.

tak bersyukurkah saya?

forgive me Allah for having this feeling.

..alhamdulillah..

2009-05-22T13:58:00.008+09:30

found the calculator already! i left it in pharmaceutics laboratory the other day. terima kaseh nabilah tolong ambik kan. u are the best. terima kasih ya Allah kerana mengurniakan sahabat sebaek nabilah dan mengilhamkan pemikiran itu. Alhamdulillah.

ini kawan saye nabilah zainuddin. die suke buat aksi-aksi pelik bile amik gambar. hehe.

enough to make me happy :) thank you Allah for the feeling.

Hebatkan DIA? dalam sekelip mata DIA menghadiahkan perassan ini.